Where to buy
Chernobyl Commando is a highly obscure, incredibly low-budget 2013 first-person shooter developed by the Polish indie studio Silden (the exact same development team behind the equally infamous Manhunter 2012) and published by KISS ltd. Released exclusively for the PC, it is a textbook example of “Eurojank” bargain-bin shovelware, seemingly designed solely to trick consumers into thinking it was related to the beloved S.T.A.L.K.E.R. franchise or the legendary Pripyat missions from Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
Core Concept and Story
The plot is as generic as military shooters get, relying entirely on the aesthetic of the infamous real-world exclusion zone without doing anything interesting with it.
Set exactly 26 years after the fatal 1986 disaster at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, a massive, heavily armed terrorist organization randomly invades the radioactive ruins. Their goal is to steal the remaining radioactive waste to build dirty bombs and unleash them upon Europe. The Russian and Ukrainian armies attempt a frontal assault but are repelled. With no other options, they send in two elite Spec Ops agents. You play as Captain Yuri Ryakov, tasked with infiltrating the heavily guarded plant, sabotaging the terrorist transports, and shooting basically anything that moves.
Gameplay and Features
If you have played any budget shooter from the early 2010s, you have already experienced everything Chernobyl Commando has to offer. Built on the notoriously clunky Argon Engine, the game was widely mocked for its sheer technical ineptitude:
- The S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Illusion: Despite taking place in Chernobyl, the game features absolutely zero supernatural elements, mutants, or survival mechanics. There are no anomalies or artifacts to find. It is a strictly linear, highly repetitive shooting gallery against identical soldiers in gas masks.
- Brain-Dead AI: Much like Silden’s other titles, the enemy artificial intelligence is completely broken. Terrorists will frequently stare blankly at walls while you shoot their friends, run directly out into the open to stand completely still, or miraculously headshot you with pinpoint accuracy through solid concrete walls.
- The “Gunplay”: The weapon selection is incredibly standard (AK-47s, shotguns, sniper rifles), but the gunplay feels weightless. Enemy hit reactions are practically non-existent, making it feel like you are shooting airsoft guns at cardboard cutouts until they abruptly ragdoll to the floor.
- Technical Nightmares: The game is notoriously poorly optimized. Despite featuring flat, muddy textures that looked a decade out of date upon release in 2013, the game would frequently stutter, drop frames, and crash to the desktop for no discernible reason.
The Legacy and Delisting
Chernobyl Commando was universally panned upon release. It gained a minor, fleeting second life on YouTube as content creators played it specifically to mock its atrocious voice acting, hilariously bad physics, and sheer lack of polish.
Much like many of the incredibly low-effort assets-flips published by KISS ltd during the early days of Steam Greenlight, the game’s publisher eventually requested that the app be retired. Today, Chernobyl Commando is permanently delisted from the Steam store. While you can occasionally find gray-market activation keys floating around the internet, it is largely considered digital lost media.
Quick Note
Chernobyl Commando is the ultimate definition of a shameless, low-budget cash grab trying to capitalize on a popular setting.
In short: It took the haunting, atmospheric dread of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone and turned it into a broken, deeply boring, two-hour shooting gallery. Unless you are actively seeking out the absolute worst shooters the PC platform has to offer, its permanent removal from digital storefronts was entirely justified.
PC