Army Men II

Army Men II is a 1999 top-down real-time tactical action game developed and published by The 3DO Company. Arriving just a year after the original Army Men, this sequel is arguably one of the most important entries in the entire, massively bloated franchise because it established the core identity that the series would be known for forever: The Real World.

While the first game took itself surprisingly seriously—presenting its plastic warfare in a generic, 1:1 scale military landscape—Army Men II completely shattered the fourth wall. It introduced magical “Portals” that transported the 2-inch plastic soldiers out of their native Plastic World and directly onto the kitchen counters, hobby desks, and front lawns of our human reality.

The Narrative: Portals and Plastic Zombies

The storyline picks up immediately where the first game left off. The heroic Sarge (the leader of the Green Army) chases the villainous Tan commander, General Plastro, through a mysterious portal. Sarge suddenly finds himself standing on a massive kitchen counter, surrounded by gigantic dishes and a heavily armed Tan ambush.

Back in the Plastic World, Major Mylar uses Plastro’s absence to launch a coup, taking control of the Tan forces. Sarge must constantly jump back and forth through portals between the Real World and the Plastic World to stop Mylar’s bizarre new weapons program.

The plot takes some incredibly strange, slightly macabre turns for a game about toys. Sarge eventually encounters The Cult (a rogue faction led by a Kurtz-like mad colonel where Green, Tan, Blue, and Grey soldiers have all banded together) and has to fight off hordes of Plastic Zombies created by the insane Grey faction scientist, Dr. Madd.

Gameplay and Tactical Micromanagement

Unlike the base-building of Army Men: RTS, Army Men II is a top-down, mission-based tactical shooter. You directly control Sarge using tank-controls, aiming and shooting in real-time, while simultaneously giving rudimentary commands to a small squad of Green Army grunts following you.

Key gameplay mechanics and innovations include:

• The Scale of the Battlefield: The Real World levels are the absolute highlight of the game. A simple kitchen sink becomes a treacherous, impassable river. Dropped tools in a garage serve as massive maze-like walls. You are no longer just fighting Tan soldiers; you must fight off neutral “wildlife” like giant, terrifyingly fast cockroaches that can devour your squad in seconds.
• The Macabre Arsenal: Because you are fighting in the Real World, the weapons reflect the environment. Alongside your standard M16 rifles, bazookas, and grenades, you can equip a Magnifying Glass to physically melt enemy soldiers into bubbling puddles of green and tan plastic. You can also find aerosol spray cans rigged with lighters to act as massive, makeshift flamethrowers.
• Forgiving Pacing: The original 1998 Army Men was notoriously brutal, with instant-death mechanics and scarce ammo. Army Men II heavily increased Sarge’s health pool and expanded his inventory to six weapon slots, leaning much harder into explosive, fast-paced arcade action rather than slow, punishing stealth.

The Factions

While the core conflict is Green vs. Tan, Army Men II expanded the color palette of the war to include highly specialized, non-combatant factions:

• The Green Army: The heroic, disciplined protagonists led by Sarge.
• The Tan Army: The heavily militarized, aggressive antagonists, now under the control of Major Mylar. They deploy fanatical suicide bombers with M-80 firecrackers strapped to their backs.
• The Blue Army: A strictly neutral faction of espionage experts. They serve as spies and informants; several missions revolve around Sarge rescuing Blue Spies from Tan prison camps.
• The Grey Army: The mechanics and mad scientists of the universe. Led by Dr. Madd, they experiment with scorched plastic and strange colored serums to create terrifying abominations.

Development and Legacy

Released in early 1999, Army Men II was a solid hit that perfectly captured the “Toy Story meets Apocalypse Now” aesthetic. By moving the battles onto kitchen tables and front yards, The 3DO Company stumbled onto a goldmine. The contrast of tiny soldiers fighting deadly wars amidst giant, everyday household objects was so successful that it became the permanent backdrop for almost every subsequent game in the franchise (including Sarge’s Heroes and Air Attack).

While the 3D graphics and clunky pathfinding AI have aged poorly, the game remains a nostalgic time-capsule of late-90s PC gaming. Today, the game has been rescued from obscurity by 2K Games (who purchased the IP after 3DO’s bankruptcy). It is beautifully preserved and fully playable on modern systems via digital storefronts, allowing fans to relive the absurdity of melting a Tan soldier on a kitchen stove.

Key Features:

• The Real World — Leave the boring plastic jungles behind and wage war across kitchen counters, suburban garages, and treacherous front yards.
• Creative Destruction — Roast Tan soldiers with aerosol flamethrowers and melt them into puddles with the legendary Magnifying Glass.
• Bizarre Enemies — Fight off heavily armed Tan infantry, giant roaches, crazed Cultists, and terrifying melted Plastic Zombies.
• Squad Command — Guide Sarge through enemy lines while giving tactical follow, attack, and defend orders to a small squad of Green grunts.
• The Franchise Blueprint — Experience the exact game that pivoted the entire Army Men franchise into the beloved “toys in the house” aesthetic.

Release Platforms:

• Microsoft Windows (PC) — March 1999 (Currently available digitally on Steam and GOG.com).
• Game Boy Color — November 2000 (A heavily scaled-down, 8-bit port with altered gameplay).